Meredith: [narrating] Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to
get rid of a shadow,is to turn off the light. To stop running from the
darkness, and face what you fear. Head on.
Meredith: I know there's a ring.
Derek: What?
Meredith: The Chief told me. I know there's a ring.
Derek: You want the ring? Here's your ring. (Smacks it with his
baseball bat into the distance, throws the bat on the ground and walks
into the trailer)
Meredith: Is that the best you've got? 'Cause I'm not bailing, we're in
this together.
Derek: GO HOME MEREDITH!
Meredith: DEREK SHEPHERD YOU ARE DRUNK! And you're angry, and I've been
there so I get it. But that does not give you the right...
Derek: Just go home Meredith.
Meredith: You don't get to just stand here and tell me.
Derek: This is what you want, I'm giving you an out. Go.
Meredith: I'm not going anywhere.
Derek: I SAID LEAVE! MEREDITH, LEAVE!
Meredith: Oh, Ok. So you're just quitting?
Derek: You should understand better than anybody else. You wrote the
book on quitting. Running, hiding, you've written a lot of books
Meredith.
Meredith: That may be true. But I'm here now.
Derek: Oh, hmm, you're here now? Haha. You've wanted me out since the
day I moved in.
Meredith: That is not true.
Derek: Because you're incapable of anything that resembles commitment.
You lied to me, you said you were healthy. That you were healed.
There's no fixing you, you're a lemon.
Meredith: You cleaned all of your clothes out of the closet at the
house.
Derek: Go home Mer. Just go home.
Meredith: Well, how long are you planning on hiding out here? Because
that's what you're doing. You're hiding. You made a mistake, she's dead
and you can't hide from that.
Derek: I'm not hiding. I'm done. I'm done operating.
Lexie: Yes, the odds are against us. I'm a one woman wrecking ball, all
I do is break you. Your hand, your penis, your relationships, your
life. I'd say our survival rate is about 3 percent. And that's, that's,
that's bad. But, it's not nothing. And I don't think we should give up
on this. At least not yet because...
Mark: (puts finger to Lexie's lips)
Lexie: Okay.
Mark: You think you broke me little Grey? You're the one that put me
back together.
Richard: I know I have no business asking you for anything, but I need
your help. I need you to bring Derek back. And he's not fine.
Meredith: Sometimes people just wanna be left alone.
Richard: He's planning to propose. He's been carrying around a big ring
for weeks. That's not a man who wants to be left alone. I just thought
you should know.
Owen: What are you doing?
Cristina: Assigning myself to a trauma with you tomorrow.
Owen: Cristina.
Cristina: You know, I'm a big girl. I can handle my share of trauma,
and I get to decide when I've had enough. It's gonna take a lot more
than a bad dream to scare me off.
Owen: It's more than a bad dream.
Cristina: I know.
Alex: I know you like teaching and that's great, but you need to start
treating real patients, with real surgeries. Because once they see you
as weak, it's over. And Izz, you can be a great surgeon. We could be
great together. You just, you gotta stop screwing around. Because I
don't wanna be the future of this hospital if you're not there with me.
Okay?
Izzie: Okay.
Alex: (walks away)
Izzie: ALEX!
Alex: What?
Izzie: (kisses him)
Alex: Iz! They said I could do the distal anastomosis on my own.
Izzie: That's awesome!
Alex: That's crazy. They just told me I could be the future of this
hospital. That I'm the resident to watch. And that's... I mean... I'm
not the kinda guy who. I don't rise okay, I sink to the bottom. And now
I'm getting all this, all this respect. And you... you gotta, you gotta
stop wasting all your time with this patient X crap.
Lexie: I learned a lot today. Diagnosing a patient from beginning to
end. So, thank you for teaching us.
Izzie: What would you say? To patient X. How would you... How would you
break the news?
Lexie: Um, I would say that I was very sorry, and that there were
support groups. Th... I ... I don't know. What do you say to somebody
whose, whose gonna...
Izzie: You say, they have a choice. They can runaway and hide from it,
or they can face it. You say they need to be around the people who love
them, because it's gonna be the toughest fight of their life, and no
one should have to do it alone. And then you give them the odds. And
even though a 5 percent survival rate is bad, it's really bad. You
say.... you say....
Lexie: Screw the odds! People die of the hiccups. My mother died of the
hiccups. Survival rate for that is what... 100 percent? The odds are
that she should be alive right now. The odds are... The odds are crap!
So people should face it and they should fight. Maybe not those words.
Izzie: No. Exactly those words. Thank you doctor Grey.
Izzie: Good job everybody.
Intern: That's it?
Intern: After the last contest, we got a prize.
Intern: Yeah, what's our prize?
Izzie: You think every time you diagnose a patient and hand someone a
death sentence, there's a prize? The prize is, you didn't screw it up
this time. The prize is, you people actually did something right. The
prize is, you were doctors today. You were doctors. That is the prize!
Lexie: We have a diagnosis.
Izzie: Go ahead doctor Grey.
Lexie: Patient X. An elevated LDH was our only clue. And then we found
out that she had enlarged lymph nodes, and a suspicious mole which was
biopsied. Meanwhile, this MRI with contrasts showed a MET on her right
temporal lobe. The biopsy reveled dividing cells. That coupled with
further staging tests, lead to our final diagnosis of Metastatic
Melanoma, with MET's to the liver, skin and brain.
Izzie: Your prognosis?
Lexie: With chemo, and radiation, um, a few months.
Intern: At best, girls pretty much toast.
Intern: Survival rate's 5 percent. If I were her, I'd go on a really
good vacation.
Izzie: You read more journals and do more research, and log more hours
in the skills lab than any other resident here. You never give up on
trying to be a better doctor, and you don't step on other people to do
it. I would be lucky to be the new you.
George: Are you gonna tell me about patient X?
Izzie: Maybe Cristina's right. Maybe trying to teach the interns is
pointless.
George: Please, don't listen to Cristina. She thinks just because you'd
rather teach then take out a gall bladder that you're the new me.
Izzie: Haha, O'Malley the sequel.
George: O'Malley 2.0.
Lexie: Ok well her SED rate is slightly elevated. Do we check for
auto-immune disease?
Intern: Yeah, ANA and CRP were negative too. At worst she's got an
anxiety disorder. The girl is totally fine!
Izzie: SHE IS NOT FINE! She had hallucinations. She had visual,
auditory and tactile hallucinations about her dead fiance. She thought
she could talk to him, and touch him. She's not fine. She's not fine.
You're missing something. You're not looking in the right places. Go
back and figure out what you're missing.
Intern: Woah woah, wait wait. Liver enzymes are normal. Cardiac work up
is negative.
Intern:If LDH is false positive.
Intern: It's a trick question!
Izzie: What?
Intern: She's fine. Patient X is fine.
Izzie: She's not fine.
Cristina: See it's not emotional, it's science. You have a problem,
don't ignore it.
Meredith: Well, sometimes if you have to pee and you ignore it, it does
go away.
Izzie: Haha, you guys are hilarious! I mean do you even know what she
just said? Or what she just said? I can totally see you guys in 50
years, at a nursing home, just talking at each other with your hearing
aids off. Hahaha! HI-LARIOUS! Ah, I love lunch.
Meredith: Oh my god! I'm the strong one.
Cristina: You see, if I had that stomach cancer gene, I would get that
gastrorectomy no problem. I face things, I don't walk away.
Meredith: Derek walks away. Maybe walking away is the answer?
Meredith: He had to get all scalpel happy up in that patients brain,
and now he can't face it!
Cristina: He thinks I'm what? This wilting flower? Well guess what, I'm
the strong one.
Meredith: And he just walked out. Without saying a word, he just walked
out!
Cristina: Hunt won't even look at me, since he went all apocalypse now
on me this morning.
Derek: I'M NOT OPERATING!
Richard: I'M NOT ASKING, I'M TELLING! AS CHIEF SURGEON OF THIS
HOSPITAL, IF YOU DON'T GET BACK IN THAT OR TODAY SHEPHERD ...
Richard: Oh, Shepherd! Thank god your back. Can you swing two brain
biopsies today?
Derek: I'm not operating.
Richard: Look, I know you've got a big law suit breathing down your
neck, and I know you lost a patient. But, I need you back to work doing
the job I hired you to do.
Meredith: You're not looking at the big picture.
Derek: This is the big picture.
Meredith: How'd it go with the lawyers?
Derek: They told me my death rate. (looks at small pile) These are the
people I saved. (looks at big pile) These are the people I killed.
Meredith: Okay. Well most of those people were terminal when they came
to you. You were their last chance, and you take on impossible cases.
Look at the clinical trial.
Derek: It's just so many people. More than Domer, Adson, and Bundy
combined.
Mark: Have you heard of a... Doctor Nelson in Neuro?
Callie: Oh yeah. Haha, shadow Shepherd.
Mark: Shadow Shepherd?
Callie: Yeah, he's a solid surgeon, but sort of the JV player to
Shepherd's Varsity. The B team to Shepherd's A. The brick layer to
Shepherd's architect.
Mark: I get it! Just 'cause a guy doesn't publish fancy clinical
trials, or takes on flashy surgeries, or has creepy perfect hair, he's
less of a man?
Callie: Kinda.
Callie: You realize that as your doctor I'm not recommending this right?
Mark: I need to get through my surgeries today.
Callie: Oh you're gonna get through them. You're just gonna be in a
world of hurt later.
Meredith: What's this patient X thing that's taking all the interns?
Cristina: Yeah, and when's it gonna be over? I need minions to do my
crap work!
Alex: It's some new teaching thing.
Cristina: We're all killing ourselves to get into the OR. When's the
last time Izzie held a scalpel? She's falling behind. She's like the
new O'Malley.
Alex: Izzie's nothing like O'Malley.
George: Hello?
Izzie: Look at you, with your stethoscope around your neck. Charting. I
can totally see you in 10 years. A little salt and pepper in your hair,
a big shot attending. You're gonna be a rock star Alex.
Alex: What is this?
Izzie: What? I can't fantasize about my boyfriend and his bright,
bright future?
Alex: Shut up.
Lexie: HI!
Mark: HAND!
Lexie: Hand! Oh god! I'm sorry! I forgot. I'm so sorry. I feel
terrible, about everything. About the fight, and your hand, and Derek.
You know he's not doing so well, I really think that you should talk to
him.
Mark: I should talk to him?
Lexie: Mhmm.
Mark:
What are you doing?
Callie: I went all... say anything on the peades surgeon, in front of
the peds surgeons date. So now I am hiding from the peades surgeon.
Mark: Hm, mature.
Callie: Um, you got in a fist fight. No judging!
Callie:
It's still swollen. I'd give it another day of rest.
Mark: I haven't operated in 3 days!
Callie: Don't hit people with your scalpel hand. Have you talked to him
yet?
Mark: He threw the first punch.
Callie: You did catch him at a bad time.
Mark: So he lost a patient. Boo hoo! We're surgeons. We're men. We lose
patients. It doesn't give him the right to go around behaving like a
drunk frat boy. Now I'm supposed to go crawling back begging for his
forgiveness?
Meredith:
There you are. What happened to you?
Cristina: I tripped and fell. It's fine.
Owen: No, it's not!
Cristina: It's nothing. It was an accident. What's wrong with you?
Meredith: Ah, Derek won't get off the couch.
Cristina: SO the weaker sex!
Cristina:
I dreamt once that I was falling out a window, hanging onto the drapes.
I woke up, pulling Meredith's hair out. HAH!
Meredith: Hey, so you're eating. That's good. Appetite is good. You
know what else is good? Showering. Cleansing. Water. Are you thinking
you'll shower? Maybe go into the hospital?
Derek: I have to for the deposition. I have to go and explain in detail
how I killed a man's pregnant wife.
Meredith: That's good. I mean, not the killing part, but the... I... I
think you'll feel better once you... go to... work.
(Derek walks over and shoves the cereal box into Alex's hands, and
storms off)
Meredith: He'll be fine.
Alex: Dude, he is fried.
Meredith: He is not fried. He lost a patient, and got hit with a law
suit all in one week. He just needs time.
Alex: He's been sitting there for 3 days. The sofa cushions are gonna
start bonding to his ass, and he's eating all my cereal.
Izzie: He's taking stock. Something huge and life altering happened to
him and he's taking stock. Figuring out his next move. We shouldn't
judge him, we shouldn't rush him.
Alex: Whatever. Sylvia Plath's picking out all the marshmallows. Their
the best part!
Lexie: And I'm pretty sure he's sitting on my keys. I'd ask him to
move, but he looks so comfy.
Meredith: You guys are cowards!
Meredith:
[narrating] Every surgeon I know, has a shadow. A dark cloud of fear
and doubt, that follows even the best of us into the OR. We pretend the
shadow isn't there. Hoping that if we save more lives, master harder
techniques, run faster and farther, it'll get tired and give up the
chase. But, like they say, you can't outrun your shadow.
