520 "Sweet Surrender" » All the Shades of Grey

I won’t take up your time by telling you my name and that this episode of television is my first. I won’t tell you things about myself because I can hear you screaming “I DON’T CARE WHAT KIND OF TEA YOU LIKE TO DRINK, I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MER AND DER!!!” Because I understand what you want is a discussion of the episode. So, I won’t tell you a thing about me. Not until the end of this blog. So here we go.   Discussing the episode…now.

Okay, too much is going on in this episode. TOO MUCH I SAY! People are throwing themselves out of windows, planning weddings, eating food by the barrels… And friendships are mended, a child dies and a daughter disowns her father. Okay, there’s a lot to discuss here, so let’s go.

Izzie is dying. That really hit home for me after seeing her collapse. I remember discussing this story in the writers’ room and Shonda saying “Izzie collapses. This is the turning point. She gets really, really sick.” And I said “WHAT????? Izzie collapses? MY Izzie collapses??? This is bull*!@# Shonda!” Yeah, I said that. It was all in my head, but I said it. Seriously, it’s heartbreaking to see Izzie this way. When Izzie fake codes and makes Meredith try on ugly wedding dresses, we get the sense that Izzie’s going to be okay - that the chemo won’t affect her. And Izzie believes that too. She fights to maintain who she is throughout the day until her body betrays her.   When Izzie vomits, this disease becomes real to her. But what we also see is the beginning of a true friendship between Cristina and Izzie. It took a lot for Izzie to admit that she’s sick to Cristina. That the cancer is winning. And Cristina is there for her. She’s there to wipe her brow and to help Mer with her stupid wedding dresses. And it’s for Izzie. Cristina is there for Izzie. And if anything comes out of this tragedy, it’s their friendship.

And then there’s Cristina, who is hurting over Owen. Here is a guy she can’t have. You see, Cristina never thought she would find love again after Burke. And I’m not comparing Burke and Owen because they are very different, but love is love and Cristina feels it deeply for Owen. And she can’t have him. Can you imagine that? To love someone and they love you but you can’t be together. To see him everyday – every single day, and not be able to touch him, hold him, kiss him. Well, this is the hell that is Cristina’s life right now. She longs for Owen. She wants him. But she can’t have him. Because it’s dangerous to love him. Loving him can get her hurt again. So Cristina stays away and watches him from afar. Does she have hope for them? That they will be together again one day? I don’t know. But I think we should hope for her.

And Owen is trying. He is struggling to heal himself. He’s done with denial. Let’s face it, nothing hits home like choking your girlfriend in the middle of the night. Which is why Owen’s in therapy. And I admire Owen for seeking help right away. It’s brave. Brave because he has to relive things that nearly killed him. And yet he’s given himself over to Dr. Wyatt, hoping she can help. And when Owen defines that feeling at the end, our hearts break because he is so tortured, but we also feel victorious. Because there’s a chance Owen can mend. And with that possibility comes hope. There’s that word again…

And George. When I think of hope, I think of him. I wanted George to find himself – his strength as a doctor. And he has. Who would have thought that George “007” O’Malley would be a kick ass trauma surgeon? Seeing George in action took me back to the elevator. You remember the elevator right? Intern year. George and Alex are stuck in the elevator with a patient and the patient needs emergency medical. George excels and Alex…well, Alex kind of chokes. So yeah, it’s the elevator moment again and George saves a life. Again. I love that this happened again years later. In the bar, when Alex acknowledges that George is great at trauma, it shows that Alex has grown, just like Meredith. Alex would have never admitted George was better at something years ago. Alex would also never admit to feeling fearful, especially to George. And Alex is absolutely terrified because Izzie’s sick. And he’s scared that she’s going to die. And he’s scared of what that might do to him. And we see yet again, the beginning of a friendship. One between George and Alex.

Speaking of fear. Bailey is full of it because she has to tell her husband about PEDS. Let’s not forget, Bailey’s marriage almost ended because of her job. And now she wants to take on a new specialty? PEDS will require all of her time and energy. How can she tell her husband and expect him to understand?   And why is she doing this in the first place when she’s in the company of dying children all the time??? Well because she loves it. And because the children…well, sometimes you save one. And that victory is worth it. Worth the time and the energy and the risk of possibly losing something that’s very important to you, like your husband. But today, Bailey wonders why she’s doing it. This sweet child that she held all day long, died. And there was never a chance of saving her. How does one become accustomed to such tragic loss?

And loss. Callie cuts off her father. How brave is she? Callie constantly surprises me. She never planned to introduce Arizona to her dad. Not today. But, she’s proud of Arizona. Proud of her relationship and if her father supports her - like he’s always done - then he will accept her relationship, right? Wrong. My heart goes out to Callie. But my heart also goes out to Mr. Torres. He loves his daughter more than anything in the world and he believes that taking her home will help Callie. He wants to protect his daughter. He wants to be there for her. He wants her close. So no one wins here. Both Callie and her dad hurt. And we don’t know what this loss will do to Callie. She has a strong family unit and who knows what life will be like as Callie leaps into life without her parachute.

Let’s end this discussion with some happiness. How proud are we to see Meredith all grown up? I mean, she is. Meredith is so sure that she wants to marry Derek Shepherd that it doesn’t even come up for discussion with Cristina. Meredith is sure. The only thing Meredith isn’t sure about is this wedding that Izzie is planning. I mean, Izzie is going all wedding-planning-zilla on Meredith, except rather than go crazy, Izzie is using her illness to get everything she wants. And Meredith wants to make Izzie happy. No, this wedding isn’t what Meredith wanted – buffalo wings, hair in a pony tail, reception at “Joe’s” is what she wanted. But Meredith has grown up, people, and growing means giving your dying friend whatever she wants. And it doesn’t stop there. Meredith is finally the big sister that Lexie wants and needs. I LOVE when Meredith and Lexie approach the guys in the scrub room. To see Meredith take up for her little sister makes us proud of Meredith. And the last moment with Meredith and Lexie is wonderful. Yes, we are happy that Derek and Mark mend their friendship but we are happier that Meredith is accepting her family. That she’s letting people in. That she’s growing.

Hello. I’m Sonay and this episode of television is my first. I want to thank Shonda, Krista and Hammer as well as all the writers of “Grey’s Anatomy” for this opportunity and for being such an amazing support system. Tony, it was an honor. Also, thanks to all the assistants and the crew of “Grey’s Anatomy” for making this experience so memorable.

And I don’t drink tea. I drink scotch.